The film The Invention of Lying ultimately argues that lies are necessary and even perhaps good, that they enrich our lives in meaningful ways, that they bring us happiness and peace. Bruce Muzik in his TEDx Talk "The BIG Secret Nobody Wants to Tell" argues the opposite. He posits that we are all liars but challenges us to own up to our lies, to expose ourselves for who we really are to the world, and that only through this process of pure honesty can we find peace and happiness and a sense of "aliveness."
Consider your own opinions about the truth and about lies. What role does each play in your life, in our world? Are lies necessary to our existence? Can we ever be truly "authentic" as liars? What would our world look like without lies? Would you want to live in that world?
As you consider these questions, conduct an experiment to test your beliefs on this issue. Try to go one full day (24 hours) without telling a single lie or practicing deceit in any way. Or, if you prefer, keep track of the falsehoods you tell, however big or small, and analyze your motives. Why do you lie?
Use the results of your experiment to support your answers to the question above.
Overall I believe in honesty. There are times in my life where I have told small white lies. Sometimes they were for selfish reasons like telling my parents I was going somewhere and then going somewhere else. As I grew up I learned the importance of telling the truth. Sometimes it is better to tell the truth and face the consequences than it is to lie and end up with a tangled web of lies. I believe some people tell lies to make them look better. I don’t care what people think of me as far as what I have in life. I don’t go to class reunions and lie about my status in life. I believe some people really can’t help but lie. I have known people who lie about the silliest things. I have also known some very good liars and I have a hard time telling whether to believe them or not. In the corporate world, I believe they lie to place blame on others for their own benefit. Politicians are a great example of liars. They lie to get votes. They know they can’t make good with every single promise they make but they are willing to stretch the truth to get what they want in life. I don’t think lying is necessary for a happy life. I think the less lies you tell the happier you are in life. I believe the world would be a beautiful place with no lies and just because there is no lying does not mean they will be brutal with the truth. If people had a filter on their mouths and only said what was necessary then everyone would be happier. I went all day Saturday and only had one instance where I told my son we didn’t have the money to go to Moto Mart to get slushies. I had the money but I did not want to get out of my pajamas at 9:30 at night and drive to town to get one. My son accepted this answer and the rest of the evening went well. I guess I lied because I did not want my son to be disappointed that I did not feel well enough to drive for his treat. I felt he would accept the lack of money easier. Now of course looking back it probably would not hurt if I would of just said no to my son because I did not feel like driving. I guess sometimes small lies help us to think we are saving someone from being upset but sometimes it might make matters worse.
ReplyDeleteThe lie is a fickle concept. On one hand, they have the potential to harm people emotionally and even physically. On the other hand, most forms of entertainment can ultimately be described as "a lie" due to "roles" and "acting" and other such concepts being not the truth. Thus, a world without such lies would be bleak and dull, much like the day I had when I engaged in this experiment.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate humour above most intangible things in life. Laughing and creating subjectively witty comments are what keeps a day going for me. I even wanted to choose to do this "truth day" on April 1st just for the irony of it. However, I postponed it to the second because I had other more fun plans that day. It was almost torture, really, as whenever I would engage in a conversation there would always be an opportunity for a friendly sarcastic reply. So, for the most part, I avoided people. Of course, I just so happened to run into someone who I last spoke to ended on bad terms that I wished there could be a way to be friends again. That, in my ability, could not be achieved by complete sincerity, as he would most likely get offended by me insinuating that all of his friends are ruining him and I missed how he used to be. So I hid. I hid from maybe the last opportunity to speak to him and it sucked.
That brings me to another point: lying as a defense mechanism. There are some moments that you get into subjects that if you tell the truth you will be harmed, even if you really should not. If you attempt to drop the conversation, people will pick up on your reluctance and assume what in their mind is the worst. I have been in situations where I loved the person who berated me and if I did not lie about what I am who knows how dark it could have gotten. At that point, it was already an intensely upsetting situation. Those times are probably what made me learn to not trust people, along with other experiences.
Now I do not just advocate always lying. In fact, most of the time I despise conventional lying. False friendship and promises and other sorts of deceit I find disgusting and chastise those who would do such. I also do completely support saying your opinions and standing up for yourself while finding people who are overly spineless to do about as harm as someone who was malicious with their lies. I just attempt to shed light on a more realistic perspective of lying in general. In the end, lying is a natural function for humans. Even other animals use trickery in some way. And, like all things in nature, it cannot be immediately regarded as "good" or "bad" because the whole concept of morals differs from person to person. What you have to look for is the consequences and the intents to gauge how harmful something is.
My opinion of truth? Truth is everything in any relationship from a husband and wife to two random people meeting for the first time. I can see no reason to lie tell lies when the truth is more simple and leads to better outcomes. This being said I must also say that I am a person that feels if you can’t handle the truth then I don’t want to know you. Some people will get very angry if you tell them the truth, and I’m better off without these people in my life. This isn’t to say that I go around calling fat people fat or ugly people ugly, but if the question comes up and I’m forced to answer, I will give them a truthful answer. The experiment we were to do consisted of going a day without lying, and I can honestly say that I could pick any day this week if I had to. I should probably also point out that I don’t consider small things such as jokes to be lie because with a joke the truth is almost always evident within a short period of time. As for living in a world without lie, I believe if would be a great place, so long as it wasn’t like the movie where everyone immediately blurted out their thoughts. I have a few secrets that I won’t readily tell anybody (although I can only think of one or two off the top of my head), but I won’t lie about them. If asked a question pertaining to something I don’t want a person to know, I’ll simply tell them I don’t want them to know. I see no reason to lie, the blunt truth solves the problem a lot faster. I’m way too open of a person, and too straight forward of a thinker to see any real point to it. I’m sure some people will accuse this of being a lie, or try to fabricate some life or death scenario that would force a person to lie. I can’t say what I will do in every situation, but in every one I’ve faced so far, lying just hasn’t proven to be the better option.
ReplyDeleteAs a young child my parents always instilled in me strong morals of being truthful. Because of this, I have an extremely guilty conscience when I do tell lies. Actually, let me rephrase that—big lies. But this exercise really opened up my eyes. I came to the realization that a lie is a lie, no matter how big or small! So in all honesty I should feel guilty every day of my existence because lies are just a natural component of life.
ReplyDeleteI started out my task trying the first route: telling the 100% truth all day. Funny, though, because I could not not lie when I was approached in the mall by a creepy guy asking if I had a boyfriend and if I did not he wanted to go to dinner. (Of course this would happen on a day I decided not to lie!) I had to fib. I had to. I do not have a boyfriend, but I vigorously nodded yes to avert the situation at hand and made my way into the nearest store as quickly as possible. I lied to get my way out of something, and I came to the blunt realization that I do this…a lot. I have a fear of hurting others’ feelings so rather than telling the truth and then politely rejecting his offer, I lied to completely shut him down. I avoided hurting his feelings by not making the option of going to dinner a possibility.
Lies serve so many purposes in our lives. In my case, I avoid many hurtful situations; however they can be used to present ourselves differently than how we really are, to manipulate people…really the possibilities are endless. Lies are human nature; therefore they are necessary to everyday life. I say they are human nature because every being wishes to improve their looks or reputation. I do not know one person that would proudly proclaim they are 100% pleased with themselves. Take women for example. They are consistently dying their hair, waxing, tanning, wearing makeup—look deeply and they’re all lies. These things are used to take one’s natural appearance and change it or enhance it, i.e. dying one’s hair. A naturally blonde woman dies her hair dark brown. That is a lie because she is not sporting her natural hair color; she is presenting herself in an unnatural manner because she desires to improve her appearance. She is being something she’s not. An alteration of an appearance is no more than a spoken lie.
If we lived in a world of no lies, it would be a much different atmosphere. I envision a great deal of hostility and hurt feelings, because there would not the option of saying or doing things to build others up even if they are not 100% truthful. I ultimately think the world revolves around lies, big or small, and a world without them would be drastically different.
Some of you have argued that a world without lies would, in fact, be a better place, albeit not the world The Invention of Lying depicts. I agree. The film depicts the difference between truth and lies in a very extreme and, I believe, unnatural way. Being honest does not necessitate cruelty or insensitivity to others' feelings. There is almost always a way to tell the truth in a non-callous way that is sensitive to how others will react. I think the film portrays lies and truth in this absurd way for two reasons: comedic effect and philosophical reflection. By taking this issue to its extremes, the film makes us laugh, but it also forced us to think more deeply and critically about the role of truth and lies in our lives. And we have.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like most of us value honesty very highly but realize we all tell lies or present ourselves dishonestly at times. I can definitely relate to all the types of lies described in this forum. Like Tessann, I have lied to quickly get away from a creepy guy hitting on me. I think every woman I know has done that. Would it be better to tell the truth in that situation? I'm tempted to say no, but ultimately, I believe that yes it would be better to tell the truth. The lie is easy, and it allows us to more expediently exit the uncomfortable situation since most guys respect that a woman is "taken," so to speak, and back off. That's not always the case though. The lie also allows to reject an unwelcome request in a way that doesn't hurt another person's feelings. But...if someone is behaving in a way that others interpret as "creepy" and makes us feel uncomfortable, wouldn't it be better to make that person aware of it? Might this person better interpret social cues in the future and avoid being seen as creep if we were honest? Would this better benefit the other person in the longrun? Again, maybe or maybe not. These are the kinds of questions I wrestle with when confronted with this kind of a situation.
Jennifer also brought up the ways in which we sometimes lie to our kids. I try to never lie to my daughter, but that doesn't mean I haven't. As a result of this whole experiment, I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend and had a date within a week. I told a "small, white lie" to my daughter when I told her I was just going to go out for drinks with a friend. Now this particular guy is my friend, but it was still a date. I was just worried what my daughter my think of her mother going on a date so soon after a breakup. I think all the lies I've told my daughter have been to protect my reputation with her, her estimation of my character. And just typing this is making me regret every one of those kinds of lies. Ultimately, they could damage our relationship.
Like aashby and KevinL, I agree that lies and truth have great impacts of relationships of all kinds. I cannot abide dishonesty in relationships. The people who are closest to me must be honest with me even when it hurts. Our mutual honesty makes us better people. If I'm acting selfishly and no one points it out to me, I may remain obliviously to the ways in which I'm hurting others around me. A good friend would call me out on my bad behavior, knowing that the truth is in my best interest and in the best interest of my relationships with other people. This kind of honesty doesn't have to come just from close friends though. For example, one student from the last time I taught this course reviewed me on Rate My Professor saying that I was condescending toward my students. I disagree. I believed I was doing everything I could think of to help my students. However, the fact remains that at least one person interpreted my words and actions as condescending. That comment helps me be a better teacher because it makes me aware that my intentions are not always clear to my students and, in fact, my intentions are sometimes misinterpreted as opposite of what they are. If no one tells me this, how will I be able to try to alter my approach to students in a way that is interpreted in light of my actual goals?
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, aashby is also right that lying is a defense mechanism. Sometimes we lie without even thinking about it; it's just a natural, instinctual reaction to the situation. This is probably what Tessann experienced with the creepy guy at the mall. She reacted instinctually and without even really thinking about it lied. Likewise, students might lie to a teacher about their opinion of the course in order to protect their grades. This shouldn't be a concern, but unfortunately in some cases it is a legitimate one. Or consider that you didn't do an assignment. You lie to the teacher, making up some elaborate excuse in hopes of getting an extension instead of owning up to the fact that you just forgot or had better things to do over the weekend. In such a case, you're protecting your own interests, lying in defense of your personal goals. But consider this, if several students keep employing this strategy, the teacher might get fed up with excuses and ban late work altogether, which would screw you over in a real emergency, not to mention the negative effects that would have on all students in that class and future classes who might have legitimate situations warranting an extension. Most people don't think about the larger, long-term repercussions of their seemingly innocuous "little, white lies."
I certainly don't think I will never lie again. I do try to be open and honest in my dealings with other people, but sometimes self-preservation kicks in and I represent myself falsely. I think this is part of the human condition. I believe that all people are dishonest (some more or less so). Where I draw the line has to do with intent. In my humble opinion, it is wrong to intentionally deceive someone with malicious intent. Any lie that is told deliberately and ends in hurting another person in some way is wrong.
I have found it difficult to respond to this particular blog in a completely honest way. There are many examples I could have used to support my points, but like KevinL, I don't believe that full disclosure is the same thing as honesty. Some examples might be more inappropriate to share in this forum than others. Some examples might affect the opinion my students have of me as a teacher even those examples are unrelated to my job. This could be an interesting question for further thought: must one be a completely open book, so to speak, in order to be honest, or in Bruce Musik's words "authentic"? Personally, I am torn on this question. I think yes and no.