The film The Invention of Lying ultimately argues that lies are necessary and even perhaps good, that they enrich our lives in meaningful ways, that they bring us happiness and peace. Bruce Muzik in his TEDx Talk "The BIG Secret Nobody Wants to Tell" argues the opposite. He posits that we are all liars but challenges us to own up to our lies, to expose ourselves for who we really are to the world, and that only through this process of pure honesty can we find peace and happiness and a sense of "aliveness."
Consider your own opinions about the truth and about lies. What role does each play in your life, in our world? Are lies necessary to our existence? Can we ever be truly "authentic" as liars? What would our world look like without lies? Would you want to live in that world?
As you consider these questions, conduct an experiment to test your beliefs on this issue. Try to go one full day (24 hours) without telling a single lie or practicing deceit in any way. Or, if you prefer, keep track of the falsehoods you tell, however big or small, and analyze your motives. Why do you lie?
Use the results of your experiment to support your answers to the question above.
I think lies are necessary in order to get through life. However, governments and corporations lie, and I don’t think that’s okay. That’s because these lies harm a lot of people, while benefitting few. Some people lie for self-preservation, and sometimes that’s not okay either.
ReplyDeleteMy experiment on Friday resulted in an average day. I did, however, catch myself telling a fib. My hubs asked me how my day went, and I said, “Fine.” When I thought about it, I recanted my answer and said, “Actually it sucked. I’m hot, tired, and my neck and shoulders are killing me.” Being truthful got some sympathy from my hubs—which I really hate, because I’m not a baby. I can take care of myself.
Later, I came clean with my daughter about why I haven’t visited my mother-in-law since she moved into Concordia Village. I would have rather not discussed it with her. But, in the spirit of this experiment I decided to see if the truth would be better.
Usually, I tell my daughter I am too busy to visit Grandma. This time I decided to tell her that I haven’t visited Grandma because she is very manipulative. She wants me to continue to take care of her while she is in a facility that provides all the services that I’ve provided for the last 13 years when she was in her own home. She loves me, I know, but she has a way of treating me like I’m ‘the help’ instead of like I’m family. She takes me for granted, and I resent her for it. I told my daughter that I don’t want to be Grandma’s ‘run and fetch’ girl anymore. I don’t want to vacuum and mop and do laundry or run errands for her anymore. I want to go to school full-time and take care of myself for a change. I told her that Grandma is in good hands, and that’s when I told another lie.
Is she in good hands? Since she moved, she has fallen 6 or 7 times (that we know of). That averages out to about once a week. I don’t believe she’s in good hands, but I said this to reassure my daughter. I don’t visit my mother-in-law because I am also tired of her lies. She lies about eating properly. She lies about taking medication. She lies to doctors about falling. She lied to my daughter’s face about how she fell the last time. Lied right to her face! Grandma prides herself on being truthful and righteous. She’s a hypocrite. But, by those standards, so am I. I tell my daughter I am too busy to visit because I don’t want her to know how Grandma makes me feel. I would rather have perpetuated this lie to keep Grandma’s flaws secret, and to not admit that I want to be selfish and go to college. Am I a bad person for doing this? My emotional self says, “Yes. You are heartless and selfish. You turned your back on an old lady. You make me sick.” My logical self says, “You put up with so much for so many years, it’s your turn now. You’ve earned it, and you deserve to go to college.” So which one of me is right? It depends on what day you ask me, I suppose. I’m still struggling with it. While I’m not sure if telling my daughter the truth was ‘better’, I can say that now I feel more like my authentic self.
Your logical self is right Kris. I believe you are doing the right thing, and even if some people cannot understand it now they will one day.
DeleteThanks Cody. I try to focus on the positive and not the negative. I have decided that even if I had to lie in order to continue my education, I am willing to do that. I still feel a little bad about it, but putting myself first over my mother-in-law is now a priority.
DeleteWhich self is right? This ties in very well to something we discussed in class. Sometimes whether or not a person is lying depends on what they believe. A lie to one person may not be a lie to another. Religion is a good example of this. However, we did not discuss the possibility that something could be seen as a lie or not to the same individual asserting a claim depending on the timing. Humans are ever-changing beings, and what we believe one day may not be what we believe the next.
DeleteI agree with Kris and The Invention of Lying in the belief that lying is necessary to get through life, especially without hurting many people’s feelings or getting beat up multiple times. I only believe this to be true to a certain extant though, since if any one person lies too much their life turns out to only contain lies. Muzik, in his TEDx Talk, preaches about how lying is a terrible thing and only the truth can make you truly “authentic,” but he is not the most perfect person in the world that’s for sure, in fact, he lied and cheated on his wife for many years. He might have gotten divorced but he was one in a million by still getting the chance to still be friends with his ex-wife. With the chances of his circumstances happening with anyone else being very small his speech had no backbone to it since his main idea on why to tell the truth only happened due to his luck. To me white lies are not really lies, but to me white lies are just telling someone thank you even if they do something wrong and I wish they would not of done it at all, or just saying I am fine when really I am stressed about school all the time to make sure that I stay on my game, worried about my dad’s physical health with his bad back, or even just tired and I do not want to do anything. I think I’m still authentic for saying white lies like that. I mean truthfully I highly doubt anyone wants to hear about any of those things, and when I think about it as a whole picture I really am doing fine. I have a wonderful family, girlfriend, home, food, and clothes what else do I need I mean I am far from a greedy person. I do tell my grandpa I am busy when really I just do not want to work on the garden or plant flower, which I should really stop doing since he will not always be around. Personally I would not want to live in a world without lies especially if it started right now as I type this blog. I would prefer to not hear what people truly think about and instead have them tell what they like about me. As far as why we lie it’s the same reason in my eyes as I said in the beginning to not hurt people’s feelings or get our faces beat in. In some people’s eyes it is to back up another lie or make excuses on why they cannot do something. I guess it just depends on how you would like to look at it, but no matter how you do lying is still needed.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with Cody’s statement; I don’t believe lying is the right thing to do to avoid hurting somebody’s feelings. But like Kris mentioned the government lies to us all the time. They believe that if they tell enough lies that everything will be ok. The government thinks that society as one believes everything they tell us, I sure don’t. I believe that many things that have happened in our world have been controlled by the government and they lie to us as the US to make us afraid of things. I use to lie all the time and it became a serious problem at one point in my life with my family. Lying is one of the hardest things to do, because if you lie then you must tell another lie in order to save yourself from the previous lie. Each lie gets deeper and deeper and you’re the only person who knows the actual truth. Now in my point, that is the worst part because it basically eats at you until you stop the lying. At the end of the whole mess that a person can create, you will still end up hurting at least somebody along the way. Also, if a person tells so many lies to cover their tracks from the beginning then they will eventually start to lose track of what is real and what has already been said from the get go.
ReplyDeleteI did indeed go a whole day without one lie, but to me it was no different than any other day. I mean sure, I lie but they are very little lies that have no consequences involved. Why lie then, because it is almost impossible to go a whole day without telling a lie. Even when your mouth is telling the truth, your thoughts may disagree causing you to lie. Lying is a very stressful thing to me. As I have already mentioned it gets too complicated along the way and you start to lose sight on what is even the truth. Now some people are pathological liars and can lie about the simplest things in the world and completely believe in their lie. I do know somebody that is like this and each time they open their mouth I already know that what they are going to say more than likely will not be correct or true.
I think that The Invention of Lying would be a perfect world; all though it may hurt many people’s feelings at least you know they are being 100% honest. Lying makes you original because in the fact that everybody does it. If you could meet somebody that absolutely could not lie then they would be unique to mankind.
“The truth may set you free, but first it’s going to piss you off.” I’m not sure where the quote originated but I definitely respect it. Telling the truth in a position where you would rather lie can be a relief, but first you have to experience the initial terror of how the truth will affect who you’re talking to. There can never be an “authentic” liar because authenticity and lying are polar opposites. I believe that compulsive liars must live very paranoid lives. They have to keep track of what lies they’ve told which people and remember the details of each lie. That just seems exhausting and stressful.
ReplyDeleteI like to believe that I only lie enough to get by and I wouldn’t want to live in a world where a lie could not be told. I lie to customers at the movie theatre when I pretend to care about their issues. When I tell them that sometimes the website gets the show times wrong, that is a lie. When I tell someone that we never get cockroaches and that it’s an isolated incident, it is a huge lie. When I tell people I’m sorry about not having a senior rate, it is the furthest thing from the truth. However, I wouldn’t be able to keep my job if I told people they’re dumb and looked at Parkway’s times, admitted that we get roaches all the time, and said “I don’t care if you’re old, pay like everyone else.” That is why I was unable to conduct the experiment. I don’t like my job, but I do need my paycheck. I was also raised to be respectful.
Lies are a necessary element of life. Without lies everyone would hate each other, and everyone would be in a constant state of panic because of the completely truthful news coverage. I understand what my mother is saying about big corporations lying publicly about important issues, but I believe some of the lies are told to protect the majority. I’m not saying all lies from corporations are okay. I just mean to say that there is a gray area.
I think you bring up a really good point, almost everyone has to lie at some point when doing their job. Even if you are a genuinely caring and nice person there are going to be days where you just want to stay home and not deal with people. Those are the times when lying is actually necessary to our existence.
DeleteA very good point, indeed. At my last job, I worked for a great company, but there were some financial difficulties within the management. During the last few weeks I worked there, I lied every day to all of my customers because their products were not being delivered on time. I developed a strong rapport with these customers over the years. They trusted me, and they knew I was lying. I couldn't take it anymore, and I put in my notice. Besides, I had a beautiful toddler at home whom I never had to lie to. That made my decision pretty easy.
DeleteGreat quote! I love it!
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ReplyDeleteI don't believe that lies are necessary to our existence but I think they are what makes each individual unique. This doesn't mean that all lies are good, but I think that what we choose to lie about really defines who we are. If you were chatting up a friend who had cancer and looked very sick, would you rather tell her she looked good or that she looked awful? If you chose the truth then it would make you a very honest person but if you chose to lie I'd say it would make you a compassionate person. On the other hand if you lied about a mistake you made in order to avoid punishment it would make you a coward, if you told the truth and owned up to your mistakes it would not only make you an honest person but also a brave person. I think this answers the question of whether or not we can be authentic as liars. The answer is yes, it is what we lie about that makes us authentic and so different from everybody else.
In “The Invention Of Lying” it seemed like everyone was the same (rude and predictable), the only interesting character was Mark because we had no clue what was going to come out of his mouth. If we were able to live in a world without lies it would be a lot easier but it would be very boring and we would lose one of the qualities that make us so beautifully (and painfully) human.
I successfully went 24 hours without lying, but it wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be. I don't tell that many lies, and when I do they aren't major. I was able to get through the day pretty easily by just keeping my mouth shut at certain times. I decided to take it a step further by practicing “voicing my opinion” when it really wasn't required. In the movie the characters didn't just refrain from lying, they voiced every thought that passed through their mind regardless of whether or not it was offending or unnecessary. I tried this a few times throughout the day and found it to be very liberating. There was one particular instance when I was in the checkout line at WalMart. In front of me there was a father and his son (who looked to be about four or five years old) along with a friend of the father's. The dad kept telling the little kid to call his friend terrible names, using multiple curse words and a slew of homophobic slurs. It was offensive on SO many levels. The worst part was that the child did everything his father told him to. Normally I would have just kept my mouth shut and minded my own business, but when the dad's friend started laughing I decided I would use this experiment to stick up for the little kid. I told the friend that it wasn't funny and he shouldn't be laughing. I also told the dad that I thought it was absolutely disgusting for a grown man to be feeding such disturbing lines to an innocent child. It was an amazing feeling! I've realized that I keep my mouth shut too often and that I need to start standing up for what I believe in.
I agree with Kris that lies are necessary in order to get through life. Today I feel like people never completely tell the truth, they just tell you what you want to hear. Which is not good to a certain extent. Yes telling a fib here and there is okay but telling lies to everyone then having to keep track of who you said what lie to, and the details, so on and so forth, sounds very time consuming and stressful. I believe telling a fib here and there never hurt anyone but a world without lies would just be crazy. I truthfully think that if the world came to no lying, I really would not even want to walk outside of my house.
ReplyDeleteIn “The Invention of Lying” those people went so in detail with the truth it made everyone very rude and predictable because it was the same thing over and over again. I generally do not lie but then again when I am telling the truth I do not go into so much detail. So am I truly telling the truth?
This project was not hard to do at all for me, since I had work. Whenever I have work I have to lie in order to keep my job. No I do not want to be here on a Sunday morning (That is when we are the busiest) I am tired and hot. Also I do not want to clean the tables that is the waitresses job to do, get a bus boy or girl and hire them don’t have the hostess do it, we already have too much to do. When People come in a say it’s cold well what do you want it to feel like it is 90 degrees outside and you are coming straight into air conditioning. Really! Also when people just walk in like they own the building, or hold the line up to the cash register because they couldn’t finish there stupid conversation at the table they have been sitting at for 2 hours after they ate there food. When people give me this god awful look because they have a question but don’t ask they expect me to ask, even though I am not there to serve them. I could just go on forever about rude people! At Bob Evans working with the people is by far one of the hardest jobs to do. Not everyone is bad but most of them are just awful.
I have to agree but disagree with many of the prior comments. Do people believe lying is essential to get through life? The sad but honest answer is yes. Why do we believe this?
ReplyDeleteI however, believe differently. I believe the only lie that should be okay would be a little white lie. A little white lie including things like keeping something a surprise or more along those line where the truth comes out and isn’t hurting anyone. We should all strive to not lie! Lying is only hurting and deceiving. Some people are pathological liars and they are telling lies before they even know it and may never realize they don’t know what the truth is or how to tell the truth. Lying just becomes second nature to them. It becomes hard for people around them to trust them and know when to believe what they are saying. As simple as lying may seem, it is far from simple.
By lying all the time whether it’s a personal lie or a company or the government, it just digs you a giant hole. By telling lie after lie, you will eventually forget all the lies you’ve told and get caught and have serious consequences.
With my experiment with lying, I didn’t find myself having to keep from lying. A perfect example of the lies I struggle with is just like Kris and Cody mentioned, grandparents. I do find myself telling my grandmother and sometimes grandfather I’m too busy with school to stop by on a certain day or that maybe my mom has things she needs me to do. I know it’s far from the right thing but sometimes it seems easier than seeing the disappointment on their face when saying I simply just don’t want to stop by. Growing up, if I got asked to do something with friends but didn’t want to do it, my mother would always tell me I could use her as an excuse as to why I couldn’t instead of just saying I didn’t want to. I now wonder to myself why, as a mother, she would encourage a lie?
Lying, in my opinion, is something that is necessary to living without having an angry mob after you. Now it is not okay to lie about things such as how much money is in your bank account, but a little white lie such as telling your wife those jeans don't make her but look big is something worth lying about. Lies that are only used for helping others or keeping the peace should be used. I am a pretty straight forward girl. Yes, I might tell a lie such as "I'm on my way." whenever I truthfully have not rolled out of bed yet just to keep my friends and family from biting my head off. I agree very much with what Jack Martin quoted, "The truth may set you free, but first it's going to piss you off". If telling a little white lie will keep your wife from making you sleep on the couch tonight, it's better than being a tiny bit more "set free". Lies about money and other serious matters only harm others and never result in any good.
ReplyDeleteI believe that lies are necessary to our existence. If we told the complete truth all of the time, we would be dead from others raging against us. We cannot be authentic liars because that is nothing but a contradiction. Being authentic is being genuine and pure while lying is dirty and fake. Our world without lies would be nice because we would feel free from the paranoia of others catching us in a lie, but ultimately it would put almost everyone in a near mental breakdown. Lets face it, most of the time we walk out of the house we are not looking like we're about to walk the red carpet. Others notice our flaws and without lies, the self-esteem of nearly everyone would be at a bear minimum. With feelings as sensitive as a humans' are today, there would most likely be mass suicides everyday. Though sad to say, it is the truth. Humans may be this sensitive because they have grown use to others telling them they look skinny or pretty when they really don't. If we did live in a world with no lies, we would have to start the population from scratch in order to not to create mass suicide.
In my experiment I found it nearly impossible to go the entire day without fibbing. I work with the public at the local cinema so whenever someone says, "I really don't need a large popcorn as fat as I'm getting.", I would have probably been fired after agreeing. I never told a big lie this day but told quite a few white lies in order to keep others happy. Big lies only get me in more trouble than the truth would get me in. Personally, I don't have many big things to lie about in the first place. I am a mainly honest person but when I do lie it is only for the good of others.
Most people have what they consider a balance between the truths they tell and the lies. There are polite lies such as if a stranger asks "How are you?" to answer "Good, and yourself?" Telling them that you feel awful if you do isn't what they want to hear, they just want to be polite. With these people it's quite easy to know when they really are telling the truth though. They have a genuine smile on their face or are serious and look into the other person's eyes while telling them something.
ReplyDeleteLies may not exactly be necessary for our existence as a human race, but as a society or a governmental group, they are. Without these little lies, or possibly big lies from time to time, people might not have the confidence to try something no one thinks they can do. Also, these little lies sometimes lift people up and keep them out of depression. I'm sure many would fall victim to depression and suicide without the kind words from another whether they be truthful or a lie at times.
Without lies, I doubt very highly there could be a successful group of individuals working toward a common goal. The human race might as well become that of a beastial race that is angry at others and find themselves quite despicable.
I did test out not lying for a full day, which for me was remarkably easy. I work at a fast food restaurant and say the same things basically over and over again. "Thank you. Have a nice day. What can I do for you?" This combined with the fact that I'm not the most social person in the world, I didn't have many people to talk to outside of work as well. Besides saying I was slightly sad instead of just saying fine a few times, not much was all that different.
There are many different reasons why society lies. One example, is someone asking "how are you today?" and you replying "I'm great," when you actually do have something bothering you. This is what really would have happened in the film "The Invention of Lying," whenever Ricky's character, asks Jonah Hill's character how he was doing. In the movie, no one can lie, so Jonah Hill explains to Ricky that he will probably try to kill himself that night. Ricky's character does not want him to kill himself, but he does not want to be friends with him. However, once Ricky's character learns how to lie, he becomes friends with Jonah Hill's character. Ultimately, Ricky's lies actually saved Jonah Hill's life.
ReplyDeleteOur society has told us to keep everything inside and not let anyone know the bad things. However, sometimes you have to let whatever is a burden on your mind out. I agree with holly because the only time lying is a good thing, is when you are helping someones self-esteem. If a pregnant woman looks a you and asks, "Do I look to big for this outfit," you reply no you look beautiful. You may lie to her because you do not want to hurt her feelings.
Whenever conducted my experiment, I noticed that public interactions are very fake. When you see someone in public they are like, "Everything is great, works awesome, and the family is well." but really they have all of these problems they don't want to share with you. I have become a victim to this. However, I only tell these lies whenever I am depressed or stressed out. Most of the time when people ask me what's wrong I can not hold it in any longer. So beating them to the question is the only way out.